She is too big :(

For the past couple of days I have felt like my little 4 year old Alexis is just getting way to grown up :( Sometimes I wish I could stop time, so that she'll stop getting older. The other day while driving her to preschool she says "Mom, I want to walk in by myself." I was like you don't want me to walk you in? She said "No, I want to go in by myself." Since Alexis started preschool, I've always walked her in to make sure she gets inside and to say bye to her. I guess she saw one of the other kids walk in by themselves, so she felt that it was necessary to start doing the same thing. I know that walking into preschool by herself is such a little thing, but it really made me sad for a minute. She got out of the car and walked up the driveway and went inside. She waved bye to me and that was that. I asked her if I could still go in to get her after school and she said "Of course you can Mom." So at least she is still allowing me to walk inside to get her.

Also a couple of nights ago Jonathon and I decided that since the baby will be here very soon, we have to get Alexis to start going to bed at an earlier time, and start sleeping in her own bed. Yes, Alexis was still sleeping with us. I don't care what anyone says about that, because Jonathon and I wouldn't change it for anything. Since Alexis was born I felt a lot better with her sleeping next to me. Even when she was in her crib next to me, I could not sleep. Jonathon has always enjoyed cuddling with her as well.. and we've had some pretty weird work schedules since Alexis was born, so it's always worked out to where she'd sleep in our bed. When she was just a baby, I worked on a graveyard shift as a supervisor at a call center. Jonathon would always just have her sleep next to him, so that he'd hear her when she woke up. Then Jonathon has had a lot of weird schedules while working as a miner.. and I've always liked Alexis to sleep with me when he worked at night. I don't really like sleeping all alone. So the fact that our 4 year old was still sleeping with us was definitely our fault. There were even some nights she'd fall asleep in her own bed.. but one of us would go get her out :) So anyways like I was saying we decided a few nights ago that we were going to get Alexis to start sleeping in her own bed. So the first night went pretty smoothly... Alexis and I went to the store and got her a board to put stickers on for every night she stayed in her bed all night. Then I told her at the end of the week, we'd get her a prize. I put her in her bed and laid next to her for a minute. She fell asleep with me next to her, which I also didn't want her to get in the habit of.. but I figured with it being the first night of trying this out it was okay. She actually stayed in her bed all night, but woke up a lot asking me to lay next to her. The second night we put her to bed at 7:30. It is a good thing we started out that early because it took her until 9:00 to go to sleep. She came out of her room about 50 times. Jonathon would go put her back in, and say goodnight.. then I would take a turn. She was so upset and just kept saying "Why don't you want to hold me?" or "You don't even like me." It was so sad.. and I almost lost it a few times :( Jonathon has a very hard time hearing her cry too. I think every parent does... but we stuck with it, which I was very proud of us for. She did finally fall asleep all by herself. She stayed in her bed all night.. and even when Jonathon got up at 5:00 a.m. to go to work and asked her if she wanted to get into bed with me.. she said "No, I'm okay." I was so surprised Last night went a lot smoother. I put her to bed around 8:30 (only because Chad and Kelly were here visiting and she wanted to play with Nicole) and she cried for about 5 minutes and fell asleep all by herself! So I'm thinking that it is working! I still get a little emotional because I feel like I need to give Alexis my full attention for the next couple of months. I know that doesn't mean that she has to sleep with us.. but when your child is 4 usually the only time they'll let you hold them for more then a few minutes is if you cuddle with them at night. Alexis is great though, because she will come up to me a lot during the day just for hugs and kisses. Hopefully that doesn't change to quick. Alexis is so independent and I wish sometimes that she'd still want me to or let me do some things.
She is so cute though.. she wakes up in the morning and gets so excited to put a sticker on her chart! She even has a new sleeping buddy. She has a stuffed elephant that she has to have next to her all night! So I am very very proud of her... but as a mom I'm a little sad that she isn't my little baby anymore. I still want to feel needed. I guess it is a good thing that we are having another little one.... :)