Monday, February 15, 2010
A very long couple of days....
Well the last couple of days have been the very worst days of my life. After church yesterday I noticed some spotting :( I immediately started panicking because if there is blood during a pregnancy it is never a good thing. Since it was Sunday and Dr's offices aren't open.. I had to just try to stay calm. Throughout the day I didn't notice to much more spotting, and then last night when I was at my Aunt's house there was some brownish blood. I called the on call doctor and he said as long as I wasn't cramping, and if the blood wasn't clotting or getting worse to just relax and get in to see my doctor asap. So I made a Dr's appointment this morning... I saw Dr. Willis at 3:30 today and he said that out of 100 women, 15 of them will miscarry. He said that if I am going to miscarry that I haven't yet.. because my cervix is still closed. He had me go to the hospital and get a blood draw that will show what my hCG levels are at. I have to wait till tonight to find out.. and even after that I want be sure if everything is okay.. because I have to go back in tomorrow and get another blood draw and see if the hCG levels are going Up or Down. I have been a complete mess the last couple of days.. and Jonathon says that I need to just calm down and not stress about it. He said if it is meant to be than it will happen... Then Dr. Willis said well if you do miscarry just know that it won't take long to get pregnant again. Easy for all these people to say those kinds of things... It isn't happening to him. Anyways every time I go to the bathroom I just pray that the bleeding doesn't get any heavier. I think it started because at church I'm in the nursery and I am constantly lifting kids and I get so out of breathe because I'm just going going going... I don't know if that is just my thought.. or if that could have started it. Anyways I'm FREAKING OUT!!! Waiting till tomorrow to go in again for another blood draw then waiting a couple hours to get the results is just going to take forever..... And anytime Alexis goes up to someone and says "My mommy is gonna have a baby." I seriously almost loose it.. I just want to cry :(
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2 comments:
Audrey I am so sorry this is happening to you, as a MOM I just wish I could make it all better and I feel so helpless. I know that God has a purpose for everything but it is our nature to question why. It is so hard to see your kids hurting and know there is nothing you can do to make it better. You are always in my prayers. I Love You guys so much so I guess that means God's love is so much greater. Only he can see the bigger picture and it is our job to accept those things we can't change and endure to the end. Mircles can happen and I am praying for one. Never give up:)
Oh Audrey, I pray that this isn't going where you fear it is. When I miscarried, I never even spotted. The way they found out I was going to lose the baby is when we did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. The baby was really small, so they thought that maybe it was too early to tell. I came in for another ultrasound like a week later and the baby had grown, but there was still no heartbeart. I didn't make it out of the hospital before I burst into tears. Only when I knew I was going to lose it did I start to bleed. They said I could pass it on my own, but then two days later, I started hemorrheging. Instead of doing a DNC the ER doctor used a giant pair of tongs and reached up there and pulled out a large mass of tissue. It was horrible. I had to have a DNC anyway a few days later. It was really a bad time for me. I wanted that baby so badly, but things worked out the way they should have for me, given my other health problems that would have prevented me from having a baby anyway. I pray that you will be able to carry this baby and deliver a healthy one too! You know I've heard of people bleeding like you are, and they freaked out too, but then it went away and they were able to have a normal pregnancy. Maybe that will happen for you:) Heaven forbid, things don't look good, ask about a DNC. It is so much less physically and emotionally painful. I will check your blog to see how it's going. Let me know if I can help:) You'll be fine:)
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